Why her?
by lduff17
Summary: Grissom tells he and Sara's daughter that Sara was killed. GSR. its either really sad or completely rubbish. if its the latter sorry. I did try. I wrote this to clear my head while writing Lucas. I promise I am still working on it. I just needed a break.
1. Chapter 1

**Why her?**

Grissom sat in the darkness of their home. What was his, Sara and their 5 year old daughter Emma's home but from today on would be without his wife. He felt sick inside. Completely empty but at the same time like his blood was on fire and trying to burn him from the inside out. How was he going to tell Emma that her mum was gone? That a cruel thoughtless man shot her while she was doing her job just because he was too much of a coward to be caught. His body shook violently with his sobs.

"WHY? WHY HER?" he screamed.

"Daddy?" a small voice asked from the door way.

His heart broke upon seeing her. She was so innocent and her world was about to be destroyed.

"Hey, sweet heart." he said softly.

"Is something wrong?"

"Come here darling."

She complied but looked worried. He sat her on his knee and she curled up against him. Grissom leaned back into the sofa cradling his daughter and he took a deep breath.

"Sweetie, I have some bad news to tell you."

She nodded and grasped his shirt lightly.

"You know what you mummy and daddy do as a job?"

"You help catch the bad guys"

"Yes, that's right honey." his voice broke on the last word. "Well sometimes when we work with the bad guys they do something nasty and try and hurt us."

"Did they hurt mummy?" she asked sitting up looking into his blue eyes with her brown ones that were wide with worry. Looking at her face he saw Sara looking back at her. That only what he had to say next even harder.

"Yes. They did"

"Can I go see mummy? She always says my hugs make her feel better!"

With tears rolling down his cheeks he shook his head and replied, "No darling."

"Why?"

"Your mummy's gone"

"When is she coming back?"

"She's not, Emma. She can't." He stuttered, forcing the words out.

"Why where is she? Maybe I can go with her?"

"No, your mummy wouldn't want you to follow her. Not until you are much older"

"Why? Where is she?"

Grissom didn't know how to explain this to her. His head was spinning. This was something he needed Sara for.

He suddenly had an idea. He would use Sara to explain this. He took her hand and led her to the garden.

"You know when your mum would take you out here at night and show you the stars."

"She would always tell me stories." Emma smiled.

"Yes," Gil remembered fondly. "Well she couldn't stay here any longer so she went off beyond the stars, to another world, on an adventure."

"But I don't want her to leave me."

"She didn't have a choice sweetheart but your mummy will never really leave you. She will be watching over us from up above, and she will be with you for the rest of your life and longer. Your mum loves you and that sort of love can't be broken by anything not even death. She lives on in you. When I look at you, I see her; sweetheart I know she is so proud of you. If you ever need her talk to her, I know she'll be listening and she will take care of you."

Both Grissoms were now in tears. Emma flung her arms around her father and Grissom held her tightly. He didn't know where that speech came from but he could feel Sara with him now and knew she would have had something to do with it.

"I love you sweetheart." E whispered into her ear.

"I love you too daddy"

Grissom held his daughter for another hour. They just lay there watching the stars knowing that Sara was up there somewhere. When Emma fell asleep Grissom lifted her gently and took her to her room. Laying her down on the bed he kissed her forehead and whispered "goodnight."

He went back to the lounge and grabbed a picture of the three of them as a family. He looked down on it and remembered the day this was taken fondly. It was just a normal day out by Lake Meade but it was perfect.

He looked at Sara and began to speak to her. He knew she would be listening.

"Sara, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't with you when he got you. I keep thinking if I had come with you I would have stopped him somehow. Everyone tells me I'm being ridiculous. That I couldn't have done anything. Maybe they are right, I don't know, but it doesn't matter now. I would do anything to see you again. Even just once to say goodbye. To see your famous smile and just to hold you one more time.

Wherever you are now, I hope you are happy and at peace. You can put all the daemons you were forced to face on earth away. They are behind you now. I know you wanted to be here with Emma as she grew up. To see her first day of school, prom, graduation, marriage. You were taken too young. You still had so much left to give. It's not fair. If I could swap with you I would.

But I also know you will still be watching over her as she grows up into the most amazing women. I will keep her safe I promise. Be at peace now. Go into the light, cross over to whatever awaits you in the afterlife. But keep an eye out for us. One day we will be together again.

You were a truly wonderful woman. You taught me to love. You will never be forgotten Sara Sidle. Never. I promise you that."

He held the photo close to him and went to their bedroom. When he was passing Emma's room he put his ear to the door to make sure she was alright.

"I love you mummy"

What he heard next didn't shock him in the slightest. It would never have been any other way.

"I love you too sweetie"

He smiled through his tears and held the photo closer. She was gone but she would always be with them. The love shared in their family would always live on. He knew things would be okay in the end.


	2. Chapter 2

13 years later...

Emma awoke with butterflies in her stomach. Today was the next day of the rest of her life; a thought that filled her with both dread and overwhelming excitement. She was following in the footsteps of her mother and would be moving into dorms at Harvard that evening. A picture of her mother looked down from her bedside cabinet. It was a photo of the day she was born and had her mother looking very tired but extremely proud.

"I'm going to need you today mum" she said with a sad smile on her face.

With a sigh Emma dragged herself out of bed to face the day.

Downstairs she saw her father making pancakes, her favourite breakfast.

"Aww, Dad you didn't have to do that."

"Yes I did sweetie, its not every day you go off to college is it!" he smiled.

"Hey, I'm not complaining" she laughed as she sat at the breakfast bar.

Grissom and Emma sat in comfortable silence while eating their pancakes after which Grissom helped Emma pack the car and drove her to the airport. Grissom insisted in flying out with her to get her settled in despite Emma's insistence that she would be fine. She didn't mind really. Ever since her mothers death her father and herself had been extra close and she also realised how hard it was for her father to let go. They were both more than aware of the dangers that lay out there.

Once they were in her dorm room and unpacked Grissom knew his time here was running out. He knew he should say something inspirational and warn her to stay safe however he couldn't think of anything to say. Instead he just spluttered, "Have you got everything you need? I can send you anything you forgot?"

"Yes dad, I have everything don't worry" she said with a slight eye roll.

"Okay then, I should probably be going." he said as he turned to the door.

"Wait"

He turned back around just as Emma lept towards him engulfing him in a hug. Nothing needed to be said; he knew she would be okay.

Grissom lent down to kiss her forehead then smiled trying to hide the emotion in his eyes. "You know your mum is so proud of you don't you sweetheart?"

Emma just nodded and didn't even try try to conceal the tear that rolled down her cheek.

"Hey, don't cry," Grissom cooed wiping her cheek with his thumb. "You are going to be fantastic. You already are but now you've got to show it to the world. I love you darling"

"I love you too dad" she smiled. They had one last hug before Grissom left her to start the next stage of her life. He knew she was not alone. She had never been since that night 13 years ago and he knew she never would be.

...

Emma turned back into her room after their farewell. Her mind was still foggy with emotion but she decided to wonder down to the communal area, hoping everything would seem less overwhelming once she started settling in.

There was only one other person in the lounge area at that moment. A boy roughly her age. He may not have been stereotypical handsome man in the magazines but he gave off a certain charm.

the mysterious boy spoke first, "Hey I was just heading out but would you like to join me and a few others for some dinner in the place just down the road."

"Yeah sure," she smiled.

"Sorry I should introduce myself, Aiden Thomson" he stuck out his hand.

"Emma Grissom" she replied returning his hand shake.

"Nice to meet you Emma, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah one moment and I'll go get my jacket." she smiled.

Slightly flustered she gathered her things from her room and checked her hair in the mirror.

joining them downstairs she said, "okay, lets get going."

On there way down the street she saw the woman from the photograph laugh and wink before disappearing into the crowds.

Emma smiled,"Thanks mum."

_**This story is dedicated to Roisin.**_


End file.
